How I try to be happier in record time

Thankful for these beautiful mums doing so well in the Fall in NYC

Cultural and media messages do not help. Advertising creates needs and desires that we did not know we had. 

Social media makes other peoples' lives seem better than ours. We strive for more.

How to change this instantly? Gratitude, the act of counting your blessings and not your troubles, is the key. 

Here's how it works:

Right now I am sitting on my couch working from home. It's chilly, and the window is ajar. There are subway trains passing by at regular intervals. The music I have on seems too much and the machine noises from neighborhood.... I cannot focus. I do not like noises, and there is too much of it. I am hearing them everywhere. I am going to have to close the window. I am slightly cross, because I had just settled down, when the doorbell rang for a delivery. I am tense and clenching my jaw (even notice a few tears) and feeling irritated.

Here is the flip of the coin. With great effort, I drag my attention away from the noises (I may feel tense, but having a good moan also feels good) and make a gratitude list.

I am thankful for…

-being in a position to write this in the comfort of my living room
-you giving your time to read this
-the delivery guy who made an effort for bringing the package to my doorstep a second time 
-having friends and family, who are bursting with love, care and best wishes for my family
-having a full time work assignment that is so infinitely interesting and humbling
-the subway trains outside, which triggered this thought in the first place

- an active mind to think clearly and thank everyone

- a healthy body that helps me do most of the daily chores on my own

How do I feel now? My jaw has relaxed. I feel calmer. Connected. Happier. I really do.

Of course, things can get much harder than the subway train or machine noises outside my window. 

Life is full of painful experiences that take us to all the dark and frightening places. Whatever it is that you are struggling with, take a minute (or two) to turn your attention towards the small or big things that are good in your life. It may feel hard, but the rewards are worth it.

You do not need anything other than willingness. In your head, on paper, in a diary or online, make a list of things that you are grateful for in this moment. Try making a habit of it; every morning, spend one minute doing this as soon as you wake up. Exercise your brain this way and it will become as natural as breathing.

If you need any further convincing for the benefits of gratitude, research has shown that it can increase happiness by as much as 25 percent, improve sleep, enhance decision-making skills, strengthen relationships, decrease materialism and increase optimism. That is not bad for what amounts to only a few minutes a day.

Have a peaceful festival season my friends!

PS: This post is for my friend, Juhi, who recently had less than pleasant experience. I am especially thankful to learn that all is well at her end. 

As always, please feel free to send any comments and feedback on pallavibharatgmaildotcom. 

Breaking my silence after an year!

ROY BABY: 22 WEEKS

Hi Folks!

Breaking my silence after a whole year and it’s pregnancy update time. Last week we reached 21 weeks and time is passing by in a flash! Will try to be more regular with the posts from now on.

Baby Updates: Baby is the size of a spaghetti squash! That seems HUGE to me! Rohith and I cannot believe there’s a little baby the size of a spaghetti squash hanging in my belly. Nervous but exciting!

Weight Gained: Didn’t weigh myself. Last week it was 4 lbs

Workouts: I am trying to get back into more regular workouts (it took a backseat last month thanks to some pregnancy scare) I am thrilled to be picking it up again. I really hope to maintain a regular yoga and meditation practice throughout the remainder of my pregnancy.

Since summer in NYC is so lovely right now, I cannot help but feel a little disappointed that walking/running outside or in the gym just not for me. I would love to go for a run around the neighborhood park with Rohith, but the pee frequency totally rules this out as an option. I know listening to my body is the most important thing to do right now. I have come to terms with the fact that I will not be a pregnant runner. I am obviously a little sad about this as I had really built up a regimen earlier this year and started to fit in a lot of my old outfits. However, my short walks every afternoon after lunch have been a great way to soak up some sun and enjoy time outside. Seeing a lot of other pregnant ladies walking around the parks in the afternoon is also very encouraging.

Symptoms: After too long on my feet or sitting, I have noticed they start to feel a little achy and swollen. This is not an everyday thing, but it happened a couple of times lately. I fall in love with Rohith all over again when he gives me a fantastic foot massage a few times at night while we watch TV. My sciatica pain has also flared up whenever I am exhausted or stressed my feet. Hopefully with yoga stretches, I might be able to keep it at bay. I have also noticed that my hair have gone slightly thinner and falling more than pre-pregnancy. Read online quickly and found out that this will change later.

Food Aversions: Ice creams and sweets. I am not sure whether I will be ever able to enjoy them again. Meh for now!

Food Cravings:

• Fruits. Lots and lots of them. Keep them coming. Also avocados.

• Wine: I cannot wait for my first glass of Cabernet or Blush post-baby! A glass of chilled sauvignon blanc also sounds appealing at times.

• Boiled eggs (So grateful this craving continues to be a strong one!). I simply cannot handle eggs prepared any other way

• Milk, paneer, cheese and yogurt

• Dry fruits and nuts

Sleep: Sleep has been good. Only getting up to pee in the wee hours of the mornings causes a bit of restlessness. I am beginning to come to terms with this gradually.

Looking Forward To… Our 24 week appointment! 

Any Baby/Pregnancy-Related Purchases? Nothing as of now, besides a few larger sized clothes for me. I am planning on getting rid of all my beautiful designer work clothes, cocktail dresses and casuals via an online service at the earliest. Rohith and I also made a quick browsing trip to BabiesRUs last weekend. It was overwhelming is to put it mildly. We eyeballed a lot of items, however thought really hard on what we would absolutely need vs. what we want for the baby, given our tiny apartment. Also since Rohith and I are very conscious about buying everything sustainable and green, it might be an additional challenge for us.

Stretch Marks?: Thankfully, none. After my morning shower, I am applying a cocoa butter oil and hoping this helps.

Belly Button In Or Out? Flat for now. I am not showing a lot also as yet. No one offers me a seat on the subway thus far!

Happy or Moody Most Of The Time? Happy!

Any Movement? Oh Boy! Feeling lots of wonderful (and strong) kicks and rolls daily. I also notice more movement while I am at work, in bed right before we go to sleep or I get up. In fact, often times I get up in the morning by the baby's kicks. Also happens right when I first go into a horizontal/ half lying position or eat/ drink something. Rohith and I joke that our baby is an early bird like his Ma, which doesn’t bode well for Rohith considering he is a night owl. Makes me very happy!

Pics: Coming soon.