How I try to be happier in record time

Thankful for these beautiful mums doing so well in the Fall in NYC

Cultural and media messages do not help. Advertising creates needs and desires that we did not know we had. 

Social media makes other peoples' lives seem better than ours. We strive for more.

How to change this instantly? Gratitude, the act of counting your blessings and not your troubles, is the key. 

Here's how it works:

Right now I am sitting on my couch working from home. It's chilly, and the window is ajar. There are subway trains passing by at regular intervals. The music I have on seems too much and the machine noises from neighborhood.... I cannot focus. I do not like noises, and there is too much of it. I am hearing them everywhere. I am going to have to close the window. I am slightly cross, because I had just settled down, when the doorbell rang for a delivery. I am tense and clenching my jaw (even notice a few tears) and feeling irritated.

Here is the flip of the coin. With great effort, I drag my attention away from the noises (I may feel tense, but having a good moan also feels good) and make a gratitude list.

I am thankful for…

-being in a position to write this in the comfort of my living room
-you giving your time to read this
-the delivery guy who made an effort for bringing the package to my doorstep a second time 
-having friends and family, who are bursting with love, care and best wishes for my family
-having a full time work assignment that is so infinitely interesting and humbling
-the subway trains outside, which triggered this thought in the first place

- an active mind to think clearly and thank everyone

- a healthy body that helps me do most of the daily chores on my own

How do I feel now? My jaw has relaxed. I feel calmer. Connected. Happier. I really do.

Of course, things can get much harder than the subway train or machine noises outside my window. 

Life is full of painful experiences that take us to all the dark and frightening places. Whatever it is that you are struggling with, take a minute (or two) to turn your attention towards the small or big things that are good in your life. It may feel hard, but the rewards are worth it.

You do not need anything other than willingness. In your head, on paper, in a diary or online, make a list of things that you are grateful for in this moment. Try making a habit of it; every morning, spend one minute doing this as soon as you wake up. Exercise your brain this way and it will become as natural as breathing.

If you need any further convincing for the benefits of gratitude, research has shown that it can increase happiness by as much as 25 percent, improve sleep, enhance decision-making skills, strengthen relationships, decrease materialism and increase optimism. That is not bad for what amounts to only a few minutes a day.

Have a peaceful festival season my friends!

PS: This post is for my friend, Juhi, who recently had less than pleasant experience. I am especially thankful to learn that all is well at her end. 

As always, please feel free to send any comments and feedback on pallavibharatgmaildotcom.