Lessons from social media dieting for the past 4 years and counting...

Disclaimer: This post has been three years in the making, marking the 3rd anniversary of my life's event/lesson that triggered me to make this decision or publish this post. (It's also a pleasant reminder that I have completed 8 years in this country today!!) This particular post has been inspired hugely by one handed economist, jalebiuncoiled and last but not the least RR. A huge thanks to all three of them!

I decided to take a break from the social media in the past 4 years or more...

My reasons for doing so might not apply to anyone of you at all. According to one of my most favorite bloggers, a better term for social media is 'alienating deception' and I concur.

My decision is no surprise to a lot of my closest pals and a few family members. I have found that social media in general makes it difficult to understand who is having a conversation, argument, disagreements, debates and so on. Everybody who has access to your information, feels it to be their right to jump in with an opinion, solicited or not. I have seen and heard people complain that they felt disappointed, insulted, heart broken, let down and so on. I have seen people get into discourses, which are very rude and thoughtless. Thoughtless because they forget whatever they put online is forever. What saddens me even more is that I know how all these folks are in their real life, no matter how much they portray to be learned, intellectuals or celebrities online.

To provide a context from my Indian culture, in the Hindu epic Mahabharta, the Yakshya asks Yudhishtra (the eldest pandva) to answer many questions before letting him drink water or take it for his dying siblings.


The Yaksha asked, "Who is truly happy? What is the greatest wonder? What is the path? And what is the news"?
Whereupon Yudhishthira replied, "He who has no debts is truly happy. Day after day countless people die. Yet the living wish to live forever. O Lord, what can be a greater wonder? Argument leads to no certain conclusion, the Srutis (what is heard) are different from one another; there is not even one Rishi, (sage) whose opinion can be accepted by all. The truth about Dharma (religion) and duty is hidden in the cave of our hearts, therefore that alone is the path along which the great have trod. This world full of ignorance is like a pan. The sun is fire, the days and nights are fuel. The months and the seasons constitute the wooden ladle. Time is the cook that is cooking all creatures in that pan (with such aids). This is the news".

Time is currency today. Most people tend to glorify being busy or having no "time" for anything worthwhile. Thanks once again to the social media too. To put things in perspective, FB takes 50 minutes of your time daily and on an average a teens spends 4-9 hours online. How they do it? By "multi-failing". For me its annoying and mind boggling.

For some people, this maelstrom of "information" provides a pleasurable diversion, but it's pure torture to me (and RR). When I was growing up, my adoptee grandparent required that I write letters before I could visit my relatives during vacations to find out if it was alright with them and send thank you notes after the visits. Ever since then, perhaps due to my upbringing, I have always been a stickler for answering nearly every letter, email (for around 30 years now), text and phone call I receive, but others are not of the same mind. This clash of habits leaves me dissatisfied (sometimes annoyed) and them indifferent. (RR and I always joke that we'd have never dated if we were Facebook friends. I am glad to have met him in person first, instead of bharatmatrimony or shadidotcom, (Indian versions of eharmony and matchdotcom and so on)

Many argue that we are only now starting to understand the social impact of continuously browsing without paying attention, I have been seeing some issues already for sometime. Screen-addicts meandering on their bikes or walkways; couples "talking" with one eye on their screens; lunching friends and dining relatives/family members picking up and putting down their phones as their "just a quick look" interruptions overlap. I understand this is because people are constantly distracted by FOMO (fear of missing out), such that they cannot pay attention for more than 30 seconds to a real live conversation before they get fidgety and turn to their urgently beeping devices.

Put differently, we are directly losing time to social media that spins by and indirectly losing time by the distraction of potential social media when we are doing something else (for me, this manifests as "oh no! I need to answer that comment someone made to me or argue/defend my point of view"). Combine these feelings within one person with those of another person, and you get a bad mix of two (or more) people, who cannot be present with each other because each one's distraction increases the distraction of the other.

This article on the "death of the telephone" has an interesting description of how we have gone from talking to each other about casual, intimate or curious things to texting or commenting terse instructions that are often misunderstood but always more distant than their vocal equivalents.

So I'm not just talking about social media but a general problem of people losing contact with their friends as well as strangers as they leave the here and now for a virtual cacophony of casual nothings, missed intentions and empty "likes."

I said something to this effect as RR and I were walking into our local GAP store. A teenager overheard us and said "well, you don't have to participate." "Exactly," I replied, "That's why I have been actually cutting back on that." I have almost stopped tweeting @pallavibhar and have pledged to not comment on Facebook, LinkedIn and insta. My Facebook "friends" complain that they do not know what's going on in my life and why there are not any updates from me in the past. My one word answer, it's all "fake". They argue that it's only my perception. Agreed, I say. However, how can someone be just happy, successful and winning all the time. To me, that is simply not humanly possible that everyone has 'made it', whatever 'made it' is...

On one hand, I can see a real problem for the world if I stop sharing my views on these platforms. On the other, I can't see that my input has made much difference -- especially compared with the rich, interesting and fulfilling conversations I have face to face with friends, or the calls I make or Skype or FaceTime talks with family. Yes, I can send 20-30 tweets or write 10 comments in the same time as I can make one phone call, but the quality of that phone call is certainly higher than the value of social media likes or impressions. Thus, I am hoping that my gain is also yours, as I reduce my contribution to the cacophony.

You want to get in touch? Simply pick up the phone and call or send an email.

As always please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section or at pallavibharatgmaildotcom.

I am still going to be blogging here and on my professional blogs, so you can opt to receive those email updates. If you reply, then we can also have a nice one-to-one discussion :)

I am also available on FB messenger, whatsapp and viber (guilty as charged because of convenience to family and a few very close friends from India)

Please feel free to read this piece by Andrew Sullivan -- the world's most famous blogger -- on how social media nearly killed him and this viral article from NYTimes that cemented my decision even further this year.

This post Lessons from social media dieting for the past 4 years and counting..., first appeared on hugglesbugglesmakesbubbles.

I am back with Creating Habits That Lead to Happiness

Hello There my beloved friends and readers! 

I am trying to revive my blog after years of silence. Also debating whether to go public or not. Oh well! that post is for another day. Please also pardon the appearance of this blog post as I am just brushing off dust from my blogging skills.

RR recently completed a career accelerator program this summer. He was supplied with a few recommended readings and one of them was author Gretchen Rubin. Since the success of her first bestseller, The Happiness Project, Gretchen has released a handful of other books that touch on happiness, everyday habits and understanding the way your personality and the way you are wired impacts your happiness. In her better than before book she has categorized all of us in four broad tendencies. I am in the upholder category and RR is in the questioner. You can also take the quiz and determine your own by going to her website .

Gretchen also hosts a podcast called Happier, along with her sister Elizabeth. I am yet to hear one of those awesome podcasts where the episodes are short, easy to listen to and often leave one with a little tip or trick that we would try and apply to our lives to try to increase our personal happiness. Gretchen approaches achieving happiness in an easy yet methodical way and gives insight into seemingly small things we can do or implement in our lives that may result in a surprising amount of joy.

Earlier this week, I came across the mention of the Happier podcast (episode 90 if you want to check it out on her website) in one of my favorite blogs. There Gretchen and Elizabeth discussed what Gretchen deems “The Essential Seven,” or seven habits that most impact our happiness.

Gretchen is HUGE into creating good habits and firmly believes that creating positive, lasting habits is essential when it comes to living a happier life. She mentions in her book better than before, “We can use decision-making to choose the habits we want to form, use willpower to get the habit started, then—and this is the best part—we can allow the extraordinary power of habit to take over. At that point, we’re free from the need to decide and the need to use willpower.”

We all know the habits we want  in our lives. Healthy habits, responsible habits, habits that make us feel more connected, valued and successful. Gretchen breaks down habits into seven categories and in Episode 90 of the Happier podcast, she and her sister speak about something they want to change or begin doing related to each of The Essential Seven habits to increase joy in their lives. I found myself thinking about what I wanted to change or focus on in my life after reading about The Essential Seven habits and ended up creating a list in my mind that I thought might make an interesting new blog post.

The Essential Seven

Here are The Essential Seven, taken directly from the Happier podcast notes:

1. Eat and drink more healthfully (give up sugar, eat more vegetables, drink less alcohol)
2. Exercise regularly
3. Save and spend wisely (save regularly, pay down debt, donate to worthy causes, make purchases that contribute to happiness or habits, pay taxes, stay current with expense reports)
4. Rest, relax, and enjoy (pursue a hobby instead of constantly browsing, enjoy the moment, stop checking notifications, get enough sleep, spend less time in the car more walking, take time for yourself)
5. Stop procrastinating, make consistent progress (practice an instrument, set aside two hours daily for uninterrupted work, learn a language, maintain a blog, keep a gratitude journal)
6. Simplify, clear, and organize (make your bed every day, file regularly, put keys away in the same place, recycle, give away unused clothing and household items)
7. Engage more deeply—with other people, with nature, with yourself, with the world (call family members, do some good every day, volunteer, spend time with friends, observe the holy days, spend time alone in nature)

Below I am breaking down The Essential Seven and sharing a little bit about one tangible thing that I am planning to do to address the habit and hopefully increase happiness.

1. Eat and drink more healthfully: 

My goal: I am planning on being more wary of what fats I put in my body after my most recent annual check up (got cholesterol a tad bit higher than normal)

When Gretchen and Elizabeth discussed this habit, Elizabeth identified nighttime snacking as her biggest health-hindering issue. In her book, Gretchen has also identified the same issue for her. For me, it’s the cooking medium. I know this without a doubt. I was born and raised in India, where one's love is measured by the amount of oil or worse ghee (clarified butter) is put in the food. I struggle with this because I also use it as a way to celebrate, connect (RR and I LOVE planning the weekend Indian snack foods that I can recreate at home and introduce Parth to them), distract (I am guilty of over oiling as a form of procrastination), make myself feel better (my fats consumption definitely goes up when I am feeling more emotional). I have zero desire to completely give up unheatlhy fats (butter and ghee) because I like it and things like poori, samosa, paranthas, bhaturas and so on (various versions of Indian fried breads) make me happy. Baking is also one of the habits that I am trying to get into more and more as it utilizes way less cooking medium than stove top methods I have observed.

Healthy semolina, almond and whole wheat cookies

2. Exercise Regularly:

My goal: Take 20-30 minutes for yoga every day

I feel fortunate to really enjoy Yoga (a habit so embedded in my DNA by my adoptee grandfather that its like breathing for me) and it is already a part of my routine but I know I could always benefit from more stretching and cardio. Whether it be taking myself through some of my poses while Parth naps or simply carving out 10 minutes after my workout to stretch, I know my body (and mind!) are the only tools that I need and they would benefit immensely from a little extra stretching. I am setting an additional 10 minutes as a goal for myself because it feels more achievable and  realistic.

3. Save and spend wisely: 

My goal: Identify a spending tracking app and cook more meat and seafood at home for RR and Parth.

My finance-savvy husband tracks our monthly spending, which is something I personally struggle with. I am glad that he does it because it makes it easy to see when certain categories jump on a month-to-month basis. However, doing it in a haphazard and unorganized way is both tedious and burdening for us. Looking for an app that both he and I can use to track our spending is one of my goals.

Food is one of our biggest areas of spending and the difference in our monthly food expenditures when I take the time to meal plan weekly and cook at home versus when I don’t, is more shocking than I would have anticipated in my past life. Multiple trips to the grocery store add up, especially when you factor in impulse buys or take-out on nights when you feel like you don’t have anything good at home to eat.  It is especially challenging for RR, who is an omnivore and is always excited to introduce Parth to new foods. When I shop with a plan and a list, I spend less, feel more organized through the week and our food waste goes way down. It’s a win-win and a habit that I am actually looking forward to getting into. I am also planning to consult more and more online resources for healthy and tasty recipes for meats and seafoods cooking. 

3.  Rest, relax and enjoy:

My goal: Spend more and more time as a family

RR and Parth

Just look at RR and Parth on the hillock on our most favorite place in NYC. We had so much fun this summer now that Parth is a curios little toddler. Watching them bond is both peaceful and allows me to focus on the beautiful weather and how good it feels to simply rest my body and collect my thoughts while I read one of my favorite blogs (Aguanomics). I know all of the family people must have said it many times before but watching father and son have a blast on an outing and seeing them get the biggest kick out of simple things like sticks, dandelions and squirrels also serves as the perfect reminder for me to enjoy and cherish the little blessings in life. I am planning on more and more such experiences as the weather gets meh here and the days get shorter. 

4. Simplify, clear and organize

My goal (personal): Organize, sort and store Parth’s toys' chest.

This one is haunting me every time I walk across Parth’s toy chest in our living room. I need to carve out some time to sort his toys and organize or donate everything that’s broken, he has lost interest since he is no more a baby and the toys are no longer mocking me from a giant heap in the corner of living room.

My goal (work): Create an ongoing web blog series on my professional blog , brush up my resume/CV and work methodically towards my and my family's better future going forward. Through the professional network,  I feel very fortunate to have worked with a myriad of talented and gifted professionals but since I am just getting back into the grind again, it can feel very overwhelming at times to keep all of my relationships in line. I have worked and interacted with people in a variety of ways (volunteer, full time, part time, project based gigs etc.) and while I have all of my contacts and referees in front of me on my computer every day, once I have completed the day, I forget to get in a touch with them in a timely manner. I need a good organizational system in place for keeping track of what I need to do for upcoming career related moves and who I still need to follow up with a request for a reference.

5. Engage more deeply:

My goal: Write down my gratitude in a list and thank at least one person before bedtime with Parth. 

All too often I will find myself thanking people at the end of the day and my brain feels like a jumbled mess. My mind will wander and I want to get better at being more intentional with my thank you. Since writing is something I love and something that immensely helps me work through my thoughts and feelings, I want to begin writing out my thank you to people too.

Question of the Day

Pick one or two of The Essential Seven habits and tell me about a goal that you would like to create for yourself to help yourself feel happier in that specific area of your life.

As always please feel free to comment below or send me an email message.

The post I am back with Creating Habits That Lead to Happiness appeared first on pallavithinks.

Five years and counting...

Potpourri from our garden 

It has been five years:

In all the hustle and bustle of our lives, I completely forgot that it has been five years yesterday, since I started calling the new world my home!

I will remember yesterday, as a bitter sweet day of my life, because of the following reasons:

1. One of my friends of twenty years ended (terminated in her words) our relationship over a very rude whatsapp message. Thank you social media! (Bitter)
2.  My boy was prevented from a tragic fall by God's grace (Morbid!)
3. My boy's first two lower teeth popped out (Sweet for me, not  so much for him!)

I didn't even realize that it has been five years (since I landed on the American soil as an immigrant from India with two suitcases full of my past 30 years of life), until I recalled it in a conversation with one of my close friends over phone today.

Our baby's birth and relationships' lens:

Nature boy

Ever since we became pregnant, and our son came along in 2015, the whole experience has put a crystal clear lens on our eyes to see the world in a very different light. I am sure that many of you, who have kids or underwent a life event of your own, might be able to relate to this. Only those who reached out and continue to inquire about his well being are worthy of keeping around for positivity and well wishes.

RR and I have been constantly evaluating our life and relationship (of over seven years or so that we have been together) and have taken this stern decision to let all the negative people and forces go. No explanations, no long conversations, no continuation of drama. Life is too short to dwell over inconsequential people and events. Like one of my fellow blogger friends wrote recently in one of her blog posts, so what.. its our own life.. we set the rules and we govern our life with our own rights and wrongs!  

It is very shocking to realize that individuals, who appear to be so intellectual, well read, celebrity like and worldly online, could be so violent and passive aggressive in real life. You live and learn, I guess.

Folks reach out to you, only when they need you in some way. For me distances, time zones and coordinates do not matter. One of my friends recently reached out, as she needed someone to confide into someone for her extramarital affair. Another friend reached out, when she needed some advise on her recently ended marriage and next steps. I am no expert. I am just a chump with computer. I try and share my own relevant experience with them. Just lend an ear to them really. They may take it or leave it, it's all up to them. I just try to be courteous, that's all.    

In the end, from this most recent roller coaster of emotions yesterday, I am a strong believer of this saying:

It takes nothing to be courteous to your fellow human beings. Everyone is going through their own struggles in life, it doesn't take a lot to just behave politely. 

Have you ever had a friend, who ended his/her relationship with you in a childish manner? How did you handle that situation to make yourself feel better? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section or at pallavibharatgmaildotcom.

Tips to avoid anxiety when you are a new Mom

One of my friends and I became new mothers only a few months' apart. Since then we have tried our best to help and encourage each other to cruise through this journey smoothly. 

Recently, she reached out to me asking if there is something I can tell her to help ease her anxiety on missing out on stuff that she would like to do and cannot find time anymore. She has been feeling very stressed out about this. 

I can totally relate with her sentiment of feeling anxious and racing against time with her son. I had anxiety episodes myself a few weeks back, so much so, that I was sleepless until way early in the morning. Almost insomnia had set in! It was simply horrible. Since then, I have taken a few steps to be included in my daily routine for not letting the lack of time for things that I want to do take precedence over enjoying motherhood. This is what I do.

• Drink my cuppa joy before 12 pm, so that I am not caffeinated in the afternoon going into evening. 

• Try and practice yoga and breathing for at least 20-30 minutes every evening, when my son takes his nap.

• Take a relaxing lukewarm shower/bath with epsom slat soap/body wash and let the water run to wash most of the sentiments that cause anxiety away.

• Put some calming sounds/songs in the background for my son and myself. 

• Try and watch or listen to a podcast  or webinar relevant to my area of interest, if possible.

• Ban all electronic devices (phone, tablet, audio devices, e-readers and so on) from the bedroom. I actually try to follow the discipline of not touching any electronic device from 10 pm- 10 am. This has def. helped me. I read paper based books or magazines.

• Pen down your thoughts in a diary and go over that list in the morning. Everything can wait and is less important than your peace of mind and sleep.

• Try to meditate before going to sleep. This is one of the best techniques that has definitely helped me in getting to sleep faster. 

• Try and go to a happy place in your mind while you meditate. I am a beach bum and the pic in this blog post is my happy place to go anytime. 

• You may also drink a lukewarm cup/glass of 2% milk. That also calms me down.

• Last but not the least, just be gentle on yourself. Try to enjoy this break from the rush rush rush of our modern, city/urban and fast paced life.

Always try to remind myself that our babies are a miracle that our bodies have made. We will never have the same life that we had before having them. It is only going to get better as time goes by.

I hope that these tips will help you all too.

Are you a new Mom? Do you remember when you were a new Mom and the tips that you followed to relieve yourself of anxiety? Please feel free to share them in the comments section or email at pallavibharatgmaildotcom.

Thanks for reading!

10 Things I Actually Want for my first Mother's Day

This is my first Mother's Day! I didn't even realize until my husband (and later his aunt) mentioned it this week. Maybe it was because I spent years assiduously avoiding this holiday. I had a long, sad and (mostly lonely) road to motherhood. It felt like one more trumped-up moment to make me feel lacking, rife with clichés and shallow assumptions about what motherhood should be, upon immigrating to the US.

Now that I am a mamá to a glorious little 5 and a half-months old son, I approach my first Mother's Day with deep gratitude. I don't want brunch, a BBQ or a tea party. One of these 10 things (or less) would be (or would have been) more of a treat. Maybe you or someone you know, as a new mom, can relate to these too.

The Contradictions of Mother's Day

It's not just me. Right? Mother's Day can feel weird, especially for someone who migrated from a small town in a developing country across the world to one of the biggest cities in world. Its not because it is a twisted, commercialized version of the original holiday, which was a day of political protest against war. There is something inadequate and insulting about assigning just one day to celebrate one of the most relentless, life-sustaining jobs there is, and something conflicted about a day to reward a task that is actually a privilege and a joy (and desperately desired by many like myself, who had a long road to get there), implying that moms need to be petted back (one day in a  whole year!) into submission for another year of taking care of their families. The clichés of Mother's Day also made me wrinkle my nose. Who decreed that once a woman becomes a mother, all she wants for this yearly appreciation is a brunch with scones, bouquets, greeting cards and flowered teapots?

The contradictions of Mother's Day make my head hurt, so my solution this year, on my very first, is to just ignore them. I am making my own peace with the holiday, trying to take the weight of all those years off it and just enjoy it as another Sunday with my husband, son, our loving elders and cousins. Propping him up on pillows in bed in the morning and babbling at him in baby talk and songs, and letting my husband bring coffee and breakfast in the morning (which, to be honest, he does religiously every day anyway. I am so lucky!). Ignore the clichés and commercialism; here are a few thoughts on what I (and maybe other brand-new moms) actually want on Mother's Day.

10 Things New Moms Actually look forward to on Mother's Day:

These 10 things are aimed quite specifically at new moms, those in that crazy rush of the first year tending to this tiny being with all their incessant demands. What do new moms actually want on this weird, inadequate holiday, in the kitchen and out of it:

1. For someone to wash her sheets (maybe vacuum her bedroom): From the time we brought our baby home, I would have been outwardly mortified but inwardly gleeful, if someone had taken charge of changing and washing my bedsheets and pillow covers.  They got so gunky with baby spit-up, milk, and other unmentionable things. Truly, unmentionable. You do not want to know how gross new parents' bedsheets are. Just wash and watch them weep.

2. Some nice traditional old fashioned dal and roti.

Ok. This is the confession of a vegetarian mom. Our aunt was gracious enough to bring some nice home cooked dal, fish and green vegetables for the starving new parents. They were filling, satisfying and hearty. I wish someone would have cooked up a whole pot of plain old dal (moong dal) and stored it in the freezer for me. This shall vary depending on your taste buds, diet and cravings. You cannot imagine how much pizza, Chinese and McDonald's we had to eat in the initial weeks to survive... 

3.  What will make my soulmate happy.

My husband is a true and equal partner, and often so much more, in caring for our son (and me). While Father's Day is just around the corner, on Mother's Day, I also wish for him to feel refreshed and taken care of. His energy goes to care for the whole family, while I am at home taking care of our son. It's like a family asset.

4. Something fresh and cold to drink.

Fizzy water with fresh fruits, a smoothie, fresh juice, basically anything that is hydrating and refreshing. My husband stashed a couple of fresh juices in our fridge one day and I guzzled them, while nursing, like a special treat. A jar of kombucha, a special bottle of mineral water, some almond or cashew milk, a homemade juice, nursing moms are almost constantly thirsty and appreciate something fresh and home made to drink.

5. At least a week of breakfast.

Everyone thinks to bring dinner to new parents, but what about breakfast. Breakfast is what we need when we are at our most vulnerable. If someone had stocked our freezer with breakfast sandwiches or frittatas or whatever a healthy version of vegetarian breakfast looks like, I would have hugged and kissed them, sloppily.

6. A nursing station clean up.

When you are nursing a new baby all day, you probably have your spot. Its the place you sit in half the day, hopefully with a TV remote and iPhone charger close to hand. I have a futon in the living room with ottomans, my lip balm, lotion and burp rags stashed near it in a dresser. This is where I ate every meal and drank my coffee. By the time our son was a month old, the cushions, futon cover and the floor beneath were littered with crumbs, baby discharges and in dire need of a clean-up. Next time I have a friend or family member with a new baby, I am going to find her nursing spot, vacuum and dust it up, and then restock it with bottled water and treats. Sadly, I had no one to do that for me, before we came back home from the hospital or even later.

7. For no one (and I mean no one!) to walk through the door without food.

This is for the newest of new moms (and dads), if you go to visit a new parent(s) and do not take food (preferably home cooked), you are missing the obvious. I don't even care if it's a box of crackers or a bunch of bananas, just bring something edible and healthy along.

8. Flowers and tiny decorations (like inspirational quotes), everywhere.

Sadly, again we did not have anyone to leave flowers and decorations all over our house, when we came home from the hospital. That is one of the cons of being so far away from my Mum and sister, while having a baby. I would have loved if someone had bought bunches of tulips to spread in little vases throughout our tiny home (not much of an effort for sure), and especially in my bedroom and near my nursing station. They would have been little points of bright color and uplifting, in those long days and nights.

9. Soothing words.

As much as I wanted to be a mom, I was surprised the first few weeks at just how shaken I felt, how overwhelmed and completely out of breath. I felt like I had lost some mojo essential to feel like an independent and capable woman that I once was. Would I ever be able to go back to work? Fit in my old clothes? Would I ever feel like myself again? Be able to practice my yoga/pranayam and go to the gym like before? Write on my blogs regularly? In hindsight, this sounds a little exaggerated, but those first weeks were uniquely engulfing. I would have been so grateful to have more people around who said, "You don't feel like yourself, but you will. You don't feel capable of anything now, but you will."

10. And last but not the least, a night of sleep.

I was trying to get through this list without acknowledging that greatest of clichés associated with Mother's Day, sleep for the sleep-deprived. But just this morning I looked at my husband and said (in my heart): "All I want for Mother's Day is to sleep all night. Like, for six hours (or days!)." I know that he understnads. And I don't care if it's a cliché, those six hours will be so sweet.

These are just my own little wishes for Mother's Day, as someone fairly new to the game. What about you? Are you or do you have a new mom in your life, and if so, what's on your gift list?

As always, thank you so much for reading my personal blog. Please feel free to leave your comments below or email at pallavibharatgmaildotcom

7 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT WORKING FROM HOME FOR 1 YEAR

Our Basil has sprung to life again this spring!

In May of 2015, I was offered a position with a company that offered remote working option. That meant no office, no meeting rooms. It means that employees carry out their duties away from a traditional ‘office’ setting.

When I started to consider the pros and cons of this new “remote” work-life, I did what anyone from my generation would do. I took to the internet and explored every blog post I could find. Most of the articles spoke about “what to expect”, “what not to do”, “what to do”, “how to transition”, “how to not be lonely", "most efficient ways to be your own boss", "rules of engagement for a remote gig" and so on. They all had great information, however none of them focused on how the person’s life changed or what it was really like for them day-to-day. Folks, who know me closely and read this blog regularly know that I am an extremely social and extrovert personality. So, for me it was a special thing or challenge.

I want to take a minute to share with you how working remotely has transformed my life and what I have learned. Of course, no points for guessing that I accepted that consulting assignment and boy was I glad that I did!

Here are 7 things (out of many more) that I have learned from working remotely in the past year:

1. The “Office” is a catch 
In every job where I had to report to an office, I spent entirely too much time there. I stayed late, arrived very early, ate there, had a key, braided my hair in the bathroom and so on. No matter what day of the week it was, there was just never enough time to finish my work. I am a program manager and there is always one more thing to tweak, assignment to finish. I just could not stop. I would end up leaving after dark, never having seen more than what my commute to work allowed. On the days I did try to leave on time, say around or sometime before 5, I would get those dagger eyes from fellow employees, as if my 8+ hours spent at my desk were simply not enough. I found myself sneaking out or telling white lies about having to run this errand or go to a doctor, just to escape. I dreaded Mondays, didn’t even glance at my computer for personal or social media on the weekends, because I felt angry and overwhelmed from how many hours I worked the past week. I felt drained and I felt trapped.

After a year of working from home I can tell you that I have done better work that is more satisfying than I ever have in my life. There is something about sitting in your yoga pants with your baby in his bouncer, those familiar smells of home sneaking into your office that just makes the day better. It makes all of the work feel less like work. All of a sudden my days were more productive, I dreaded sitting at my desk less and work got done. I leave my desk whenever I want now, whether it’s to get a snack or to take a walk around the block with my munchkin and for some reason at 5:00pm I am done. The work is done!

2. Makeup shmake-up.
In the hundreds of blogs I read to prepare myself for remote life the #1 most consistent “tip” was to still get ready everyday. Ummm, I don’t know who these men and women are, but what a waste of time! I have already applied this tactic during remote interviews in the past and know the pros and cons. If you have a face-to-face meeting or a video Skype/FaceTime call scheduled by all means, put a little pride in your appearance. Otherwise, shower or don’t shower, I don’t care and I promise you the other remote workers you talk to all day probably won’t care and might not shower either. As for makeup, I don’t even have a lipstick at home now to apply in case of an emergency!

Side note: If you stop by my house unannounced, I will be in some sort of workout clothes that could include yoga pants. I have brushed my teeth and washed my face but my hair will be in a messy bun. That also says that I have a four and a half month old baby to take care of. Just saying.

3. Finding the Om!
The rumors are 100% true. People who work from home are much less stressed and overall more pleasant to deal with on a daily basis. My coworkers, whom I Skyped with, ask me how I am doing, tell me to have a great weekend, the works. What they don’t do? Complain, whine, nag and so on. This is because typing your thoughts instead of just blurting them out gives you that split second to re-think what you are about to say. Moreover, no more water cooler or restroom break gossips for me too.

It is AMAZING and in the end makes everyone better, including myself. This past year has been such an eye opening experience for me. I have seen the light on the unneeded, unwanted stress that I used to carry around. I truly feel like I am a different person now. Lots of people ask if you get lonely working from home, but I feel like I have more time and actually want to see people more now. I schedule brunch dates or coffee get-togethers because I can, whereas working in an office you probably just want to go home and take your pants off.

4. Do I have own a vehicle?
So, this part is relative to where you live and what you like to do. I am extremely lucky as I live less than a mile from a park, the gym, subway and bus stop and the grocery store. At my age, these the only places I really go to. Sad but true! Since I am walking/jogging/riding public transport/taxis to run my errands, I do not own a vehicle. I don’t have to get gas so I save a ton of money on fuel costs and general car maintenance.

5. Enjoying my workout.
This is hands down my favorite part of working from home. I get to go to workout midday. It is so hard for me to work, take care of my baby and then go to gym when HD is home at night. I love working out and now I sneak in a workout whenever my baby is taking a nap. Moreover, since I do not have to save time to shower and be presentable when I get back to the office, I do not rush through my workout. It offers me the perfect break in my day to wake up my mind and body, putting me back in the mood to be productive and get my job done. How am I in the mood to go to the gym instead of just take a nap you ask? Go back to #2 and read about what I wear. Half the work is dressing the part. You can make yourself feel pretty guilty trying to take your sneakers off and nap in your workout clothes.

6. Tidy Up.
A clean home is a happy home (and office). Keeping clutter at bay and the living room tidy, really helps me stay focused. If I walk to the kitchen to refill my water bottle and step on laundry and baby toys, guess what I am going to want to do? Fold laundry and put away the toys.

I try to do a walk through in the morning. I tidy the living room, wash any dishes, laundry, etc. That way everything is in it’s place before I start working and that makes for less distraction. 

7. Investing in a good gear.
The last thing I learned right away was that you have to have all the office supplies and gear you need to do your job, at home. Don’t try to work at the bar in the kitchen if you need a drafting table to get anything done, it just doesn’t work that way.

For me, its easier. I have a macbook and a windows laptop. A really good computer chair that has moveable wrist rests and wheels and tons of online cloud storage from Dropbox or Google Drive rounds off my list. If you work for a good company, they might assist in the costs of some of these items, especially a computer. If not, make the purchase, save your receipt and write it off on your taxes. You will be glad and look forward to working when you have good gear while “going to your office” every day.

Here are a few other things that have tremendously helped my transition to (LOVING) working from home:

SKYPE| FaceTime| GOOGLE APPS| ASANA| YOUTUBE| HUITESUIT| WORDPRESS| DROPBOX| WALMART SUBSCRIPTION| COURSERA| COFFIVITY| JANGO AND/OR SPOTIFY| POPSUGAR

If you are thinking about working from home, I say go for it! But either way, I hope what I have learned this past year working remotely enlightens you or helps you on your journey. Or maybe you already work from home. Do you agree with any of these? Do you disagree? Have you found better ways to do things? Do you have any must-haves on your list? I would love to know, please feel free to share!